My Defeat, Part II

Part II of the story of how I was defeated by a Shibuya Heartbreaker, and yet… in many ways she was the highlight of my trip.

We’d left off at the end of the first date, on the sidewalk, me offering this sweet girl cheesecake and oral pleasure back at my apartment. Both of which were rejected.

I was working all my Tokyo leads at this point — LINE/Faceback — pretty ruthlessly firing offers at girls. I maybe had 17 leads from 3 weeks of game, many were stale or none responsive, but I was pounding away… offering plans and trying to get one of these girls out. I had just a few nights left, and I really wanted to get some time, and some sex, from at least one of the amazing women I’d met on my trip. I pinged this one again, and she was funny and flirty as always.

NASH: If you can find a few hours… come play with me before I leave.


That was on Friday. She and I pinged some more that day, sending each other “cute animal pics” and dumb stuff like that.

Then on Saturday…

HER: Nash, I’m sorry, Sunday is shooting. Shall we go to my friend’s live on Saturday@near the station?

Hmmmmm. <-- That's what I wrote back, actually. I told her I was thinking about it. I wanted to see her again, and I figured since I had been so sexually explicit with her last time that she would know I was going to try to have sex with her. I had another date scheduled for that night, so her timing was perfect, done by 8:30. But I didn't like her plan. I was imagining some bar w/ a rock band playing and sharing her w/ her friends. That's not what I wanted to do. That would be a dumb date if I wanted to get her in my bed. I know enough to avoid dumb dates. I asked if it was rock, and she confirmed. And I said: NASH: I think a COOL GUY and FUNNY GIRL need some place they can talk... Then I started talking about the concept of Chemistry and describing that to her. NASH: I think we have "good chemistry." That's why I am thinking of you today... and why YOU are thinking of me! Cheesy, but very true. She's funny and loves to laugh, so I was trying that route. I'm trying not to be too eager for the date. More cutesy pictures back and forth, she and I, getting around the language barrier by speaking to each using photographs and cartoons. And this will all help me back at home, as I meet a lot of Asian girls that also barely speak English. Then I went for the date... NASH: How about a drink w/ me. 4:30. NASH: And then you go to ROCK at 6:30. She accepted, sending me a cartoon of a flight attendant giving the thumbs up sign. She then proposed a neighborhood I didn't know, which would mean I was out of my element, wouldn't know where to take her, and wouldn't be close to my apartment, making "cheesecake" time much more difficult. But I accepted. She wasn't trying to be difficult, she was just being fun and wanted to take me to a cool part of town. Fine. I'd try it. I managed the logistics saying she should take me to a cool bar where I could sit next to her. That she should pick the meeting place, and we'd meet there at 4:30. Another "OK" from her. I told her to wear perfume again. She messaged me about 40 minutes before the date saying she was going to be late... more like 5 PM. I pretended to be mad, and she got the joke, more laughing and sending me feminine cartoons of a cute girls saying "sorry." She was respectful and feminine and fun. I was looking fwd to this. And we met up in front of the Apple Store and... it was a great date. Best date I've had in a long time. She was so cute, super cool style, rocking fancy Adidas hightops that came 1/2 way up to her knees, with big girly laces. I spun her to check her out (I've never done that before, but it was fun). She was excited and effervescent. It looked on. I had some tea in my hand, and she reminded me that I also had tea in my hand when I picked her up. HER: Ahhhh! You like tea! She laughed and pointed at me. Adorable girl. She walked me into some big mall and we walked around and told stories. I had figured out how cool the Google Translate app was, and we were using that to bring up topics that were too advanced for her simple English. I guessed her height in feet/inches, and she was impressed when we converted that to centimeters for her and I was right. At one point I was telling a story about a couple I know that met online dating -- I had had her talking about how she does like to kiss girls, but hasn't in a long time. That story lead to a story I have about a girl I know that has kissed me, one of my closest friends, and that friend's little sister. And how that same girl once leaned over to me at a bar where the four of us were hanging out and said, "I've kissed all of you!" I like that story. She liked it to. The girl from my kissing story is getting married to a guy she met via online dating. My Shibuya cute one said she didn't really know what that was?? She asked if it was fun? I explained to her that online dating was great for finding commonalities, that lots of people all over the world do it, but that it's not great at finding real "chemistry" - and I did some pointing back/forth between she and I as I did that. I told her that cool guys don't need online dating, that they can meet girls the way I met her. I gave her a cocky smile and I self-pointed. I told her that street approaches are hot, saying that a bit more romantically than I just did here. And I was acting out the pickup again, talking about chemistry between couples that really like each other, and it got really hot, me staring into her eyes and holding her hands. Red hot. I really liked this girl, wow. The date was at a full boil right now, maybe 15 minutes in, standing by an escalator in an enormous Tokyo mall. I mimed out how strong the sexual tension was between us and told her I needed a drink. She took me outside. We toured all the street art as we walked. Tokyo has a great "sticker" culture -- unique, graffiti-related stickers everywhere, and I'm into sticker culture, and had given her a custom sticker of my own on our first date. She was really into it as I collected a couple of nice specimens for my collection, putting them in my wallet to take home. She told me she loved the sticker I gave her, and that it was special to her. Cool, cool, cool. Bring her into my world. We went down the street to a cool French place, and we got stuck in chairs facing each other, which is something I would have avoided if I was in control of the logistics. We talked more about sex. She wears mostly pink and purple underwear. She thinks her are nipples are "general" (she means "normal") and not too big or small. I figured she could probably be a little late to her rock thing, but I'd have to act fast if I was going to sex her that afternoon. Drinks and some snacks. Oishi-desu. And then... I brought up the cheesecake plan again, trying to set up the sex without being too explicit. I assumed at this point it was pretty much on, the second date was her idea, and she knows I want to set her, so I figured the boyfriend wasn't going to get in the way. And she didn't bite. Pretty even, cool expression on her face. Despite loving this girl, I was ready to bail, and see if my other date was going to happen, and/or head out for another night in the clubs. If this was a "friend date," I wanted out. She asked about the rock thing. I pushed back, saying that it would be loud, and I wasn't into that, but if she needed to go, we could split a cab and I'd jump out at Shibuya. She leaned in and encouraged me, telling me it's not loud, that it was a "special" thing, and that she wanted to go with me. She said it wasn't really a "friends" thing, but an invitation she'd received from a client of hers. I asked her what time she had to be home that night, she said midnight, so I had plenty of time to get her back to my house after her "live" event. Hmmm, okay, I thought... why not. She was showing me a side of Tokyo I'd never seen, she was a wonderful girl, I'd go check this thing out with her. It turned out to be amazing. Super small "art party," maybe 100 hip people seated in chairs and pressed up against the walls, all in a photography studio. Experimental music and a live photo shoot -- electric "standup" bass from a guy with long hair and top hat, atmospheric sounds and random samples, a percussionist playing this drum-box thing he played while sitting on it, and a tattooed Asian guy, in a white robe, doing this wild dance around the studio. The photographers were circling around this scene, flashes popping. She lead me to a spot with a good view, we were up against a table, her 5'1" body backed up against me, red wine staining her lips and on her breath. I played with her hair, touching her ears, and I put my hands in her backpocket, getting a little bit of her ass and sipping a beer. Then they presented the photos they'd just taken, projecting them on a screen in front of the crowd, and the performer told jokes about each one, and she laughed and translated for me. Beautiful night. We walked outside, it's lightly raining, I take her hands, kiss her... but still no full commitment from her. She let me kiss her, and touch her, but wasn't really getting into it. She said, "no, you and I, just friends" sheepishly. I gave her a confident look over, and slowly shook my head and smiled. "Nooooo," wagging my finger at her. And I looked her up and down some more. -- This is when I knew her boyfriend was, in fact, a cool guy. Here's what I think was going on here: I don't know anything about her boyfriend, I avoided that topic, but I bet he's not some guy with money that she doesn't like, but serves as her provider. Not that. I doubt it. I was trying to piece together why she was dating me while she has a boyfriend, but still wouldn't let the sex happen, despite obviously great chemistry between us. I was escalating well, but she wouldn't let herself be fully seduced. She doesn't strike me as hung up, sexually. I doubt that too. She's a very confident girl, and seems experienced to me. She went out w/ me because I ran great game on her. That’s why. Not perfect game, but good enough game at the pickup, and then on the day2, that she definitely liked me. I'd shown a ton of value, even as a guy that was just visiting and didn't know the town. She wouldn't let me eat that pussy because she's loyal to her guy. I think that's it. Yes, someone could have gotten this girl into bed, but it wasn't me, and I'm not faulting my game much in this particular situation. She likes me, I'm fucking cool, but her boyfriend is cooler, at least given that I was going to be gone in 2 days. She wasn't going to fuck me "just once," not at the risk of messing with her relationship. She'd fool around, and had some fun, but would not cross the line w/ me. I actually respect her for all this. Not that I wouldn't have respected her after I ate her little ass and fucked her from behind. But I like her loyalty here. Good on her. And I like that she was adventurous enough to take some chances w/ me. Well played, Pretty Girl. I tried to get her back to my place right after we left the party, but I could feel her disconnect as I pushed that plan on her. We had another drink at a very cool, local soba place, and I took her outside. At the time, I hadn't put together the analysis of her behavior I laid out above, so I was still trying. I wanted this to happen. I had nothing to lose. I took her outside, took her hands and said: NASH: "Okay, it's time. Let's go." And she laughed, and pulled back... pulling away from me. She walked me to the station, walking very quickly, and I knew it was over. I could feel my hair flopping around in the breeze, as I had cut my hair before my trip but that was 4 weeks ago. And I felt kind of dorky, coming down from the afternoon of drinks, and realizing that real intimacy with this girl was not going to happen. Fuck. When we got to the station I tried one last hail marry, going explicit, saying I wanted to take her to my place, for one hour, kiss her, and do things to her, and I looked her up and down. She laughed. Gave me a nice, but mild kiss, and we parted ways. -- That's when I realized her boyfriend was a problem, after all. Hmmm. Okay. I brought my A-game with this girl, from the moment I'd met her. I was a good mix of vulnerable and bold. I genuinely liked her. I'd escalated well. But I'd been beaten. Game over. And I crawled back home, shaking my head, a little bit bummed that it didn't happen. It was only 11 PM, my last Saturday in Tokyo. I was defeated, but I had a full night of bullshit ahead of me in the clubs, and I knew it. I gave myself a double-dose of Redbull, washed my face, and went out to hit on girls, pound whiskey, and dance a bit. Fun night. I ended up kissing some drunk girl in the club. The Tokyo guy next to me giving me the thumbs up and saying I had good skills. But that girl wasn't what I wanted and the makeout was just drunk fooling around. That was, the first time I've ever kissed two girls in one day (I think?). Lots of "first" on this Tokyo trip. I woke up the next day, a little humbled. It had been an amazing week, but that girl worked me over. I was hungover from the club, and little exhausted from my emotional adventures. I took a shower, then back to the coffee place for some work, and I started pounding my leads again. The week wasn't over yet.