I am curious this week about two classes of sex available to the player: 1.) Fucking a new girl and taking a notch, versus 2.) Getting a previously lover back into bed for some “recurring revenue.”
It’s an interesting point that we in this community often care more about new notches than the total volume (or quality) of sex. We don’t say that (not exactly), but in terms of what we like to talk about… we strongly prioritize the new conquest.
As my sex life bounces back and forth between notches and recurring sex with existing lovers… each experience gives me a chance to take a look at what I want from game. A chance to determine where my “heart is at” vis-à-vis the favorite metrics of the pickup community.
This is all part of a larger theme that’s been running through my head. It is about how my time with Miss Thick last year was some of the best times of my life (with women, anyway). She was fucking amazing. Or rather… that relationship was amazing. And the specific space she and I created was infinitely more rich for me… than the night I claimed her as a notch.
The distinction between fucking her that one night when I got the notch, versus the incredible times we had in the months that followed… all that… that is the sentiment I want to point to in this post.
When I wrote about fast-sex versus the date model, in that piece I was asking questions about “what is better?” There is no correct answer. It is always “it depends.” But as I tried to set up that discussion I had to define what “better” was for me. And I pointed to a mix of new pussy and recurring revenue. I want both.
This post is about what parts of this game give me the greatest satisfaction… and… it is about some extraordinary sex I had this week.
The community values notches above quality and quantity of sex. It’s not a stated thing… but that is what I see. It’s true for me too, much of the time.
Most of our time as players is spent looking to BEGIN something (to claim the notch)… not maintain an existing connection. And I often say VOLUME is the key to learning game. So I can see why the community has more focus on lay count than on getting laid.
I like stories about new notches and “fresh kills.” I like reading them. And I like writing them. When a man can claim a new addition to his lay count, that is, in fact, some kind of accomplishment. And I do feel accomplished and competent when I get that far.
To stand shoulder to shoulder with real seducers, we have to be able to produce new lays. Fresh sex… “from farm to table”… with some regularity. That is close to the definition of what it means to be a player.
So let’s talk about notches for a second…
For me, the RELENTLESS NOTCH COUNT HYENA is real. I feel that pressure sometimes. There are multiple forces at work for me as I pursue notches:
I want to prove something to myself (that was very true in Japan), and in that case, “the hyena” is me pressuring me. And that is combined with me wanting to prove myself to the community… in that case, the community itself is the insatiable hyena, demanding fresh lays if the player wants to remain relevant. And other times I add that “needing to prove something” to the pressure from the horny-ache in my balls… and yeah, I want a new notch.
“Each lay is delivering a dopamine hit, placating Relentless Notch Count Hyena for another week, pouring more water into the leaky bucket.”
This isn’t exactly how I feel but it’s in the right spirit for me. I like Krauser’s “Notch Count Hyena” concept. For much of the time I spent in Japan, that was me… clamoring after sex and fresh notches.
Claiming a notch is one kind of satisfying.
But it is also true that the sex that comes from “regulars” is often better than the sex that comes with a notch… I would argue that that is almost always true.
There is more sex, and better sex, when we think beyond inflating our notch count. I want to keep all that in my view of game and my goals for myself as I move forward as a player.
Recurring revenue is a business term that is similar to talking about a “repeat customer.” The business community considers revenue “recurring” when it’s regular.. and predictable. As I see it women are never predictable, but recurring sex is very much a possibility.
I love “recurring revenue” girls. I have a warm glow (and a half chub) just thinking of some of the regulars from my past. Without a doubt… the best sexual experiences I’ve ever had were always in the context of LTRs.
Multiple bedroom sessions with the same girl give you a chance to “work out a sexual rhythm” together. There is a space after a girl begins to trust you, and before sex becomes stale… where the hottest sex is possible. Miss Thick and I were in that space for months last year.
Notches are more glamorous than recurring revenue. True. But when I think about how much work typically goes into a new lay, the girls that I can tap into sexually more than once are often precious to me.
Think of the time you spend seducing a new girl as part of your “cost.” And sex is the “profit.” Recurring revenue girls are “high profit” investments. Lots of sex… relatively low incremental cost. That is boner-killing analysis, but it’s true.
“And then at some point you turn a corner, whether it’s a change in your life circumstances, the result of conscious inner game work, a good trip on mushrooms….. the leaks get plugged. Then you hit your magic number and [the relentless notch count hyena] packs his bags and slinks away tail between his legs.”
I haven’t hit my magic number. I am still a notch hound. But I think I have enough “heavy experience” in the SMP that I am sorting out my own aims as a player.
My bucket still has a leak. I will always respond to the thrill of new pussy, I don’t expect that to ever change. That “leak” is my desire. And desire moves the world forward.
I will continue to love the hunt… but I feel a little more sober about that as I progress. And I specifically want these “ongoing flings” in my life this year. I don’t think I’ve made a point of this before, but this is maybe my main goal of all this daygame hunting. I am saying it out loud so it becomes a focus of my effort.
Fresh leads are best leads… that is true. But for the best sex… most of the sex, and certainly the best sex… for me… that is from recurring lovers.
There will be more notches. But if the Gods are kind, there will be more LTRs as well.
That is a long intro to a story about some sex I had this week. This was with Miss Lips. An older, but very sexy Taiwanese girl I picked up via daygame last year.
We had a bunch of sex last July, on a two day date (which was our 2nd date). She lives in Taiwan, but is in my city a lot for work. She was back in my city in September and I had sex with her again… but I wasn’t that into it. She is a little high maintenance.
(In general, I usually don’t pay that much attention to this girl. But… this week has me looking at her with fresh eyes.)
While I was in Japan earlier this year, we were talking about girls and mating strategies on the comments of this blog. Right as we were talking about that, Miss Lips started messaging me via the LINE app. That day in those comments, I talked about her as an example of how women pursue their goals…
Her messaging me when she did gave me a chance to tell a daygame story I had never told before… a story about how Miss Lips watched me pick up a girl on the street one time (I wasn’t aware she was watching). I used that story, and her ongoing interest in me, as proof that she sees me as a lover… not a provider.
“In OCT, I was out daygaming and I approached a hot Vietnamese girl (I still remember her), had a great interaction, and when she/I split off… I turned around and ran right into MISS LIPS on the sidewalk. She was in town, and her favorite hotel is right in the middle of my daygame territory.
“She watched my whole approach. She said, ‘oh, you got another one.’ The look on her face is hard for me to pin down… she was vaguely slack-jawed about it. My wing walked over right as I noticed her (he didn’t know I knew her, didn’t see it coming) and I introduced them… which helped me avoid the awkwardness of the moment.”
I have worried some about having a girl I am into “catch me” approaching other girls. I’m sure girls have noticed me while I was out trying to pickup. And some “girls I’ve approached” have seen me approach (I think I lost a date in Japan after a girl I number closed saw me gaming later that week). But I think this is the only daygame girl I have fucked that has seen me approach other girls… and then fucked me again after that.
The conversation that day was inspired by a theory from David Burn about women’s sexual strategies:
“Girls’ evolutionary directive is to find a good provider for a family, that’s it.”
— David Burn
David Burn is a friend of mine and a man I respect. He and I have run game together before in NYC… he is quite good with women. And he is correct at some level, but I don’t agree with how he stated that claim… and we went back/forth on this topic in that thread.
“So she knows I’m some kind of a player. If not from how I picked her up… then by watching me pick up the Vietnamese girl.
“Why is she putting up with that? Why is she still chasing, after I’ve been dismissive? What is the MOTIVATION of her DESIRE?
“It’s sex. Only sex. Sex, entertainment, pleasure… it’s ‘sport,’ not survival.”
This ^ is true. Each girl has her own impression of me, but I think I am clearly in “bad boy” territory for Miss Lips.
“She is chasing me a bit… because she thinks I’m TOP GUY. She has zero reason to think I’ll give her anything but fun/sex. And she’ll try to keep me in the mix… because sex with TOP GUY (for my sperm, or just the pleasure of it), is a priority, and one she can afford to pursue, because she has her resources covered.”
This ^ was part of my rebuttal to David’s theory. David isn’t into it (“I’ve been questioning the whole Alpha good genes / Beta provider model lately…”), but I think Miss Lips is a great example of the kinds of choices women make.
Here is a note on women’s DUAL MATING STRATEGY:
“The second set involves dual mating, a strategy in which women form longterm relationships with investing partners, while surreptitiously seeking good genes from extrapair mates.”
— Elizabeth Pillsworth and Martie Haselton
This ^ is how I see the world. Most men can easily see how women pursue RECOURSES, because most men, when/if they are pursued… they are pursued for the resources (money, protection) they can offer a girl (and her future kids… which may or may not be his).
All that is true, but we are missing half the story when we say girls only want a PROVIDER. Women want resources, yes. But women also want SEX. Not usually from the same guy.
When I was younger (pre game), I used to be the resource guy. Now, I actually have more resources… I would be a much better provider now than I could have been back then… but as far as what the girls FEEL from me… I am now the “sex guy.”
Miss Lips and I have had sex back in July (and again in September). I have taken her on some nice dates, but she is well funded and doesn’t need a man to take her to dinner. I have been nice to her, but I haven’t been overly romantic… and I don’t call her much (if at all), even when I know she is in town. On top of all that… she has seen me out picking up girls, right in front of her.
And yet she still contacts me? Why?
For the “experience” of being with me. I don’t offer her resources. That latter part of the dual mating strategy has the most explanatory value for me here….
I understand my relationship with Miss Lips more clearly when I look at it from the POV of a Dual Mating Strategy.
So on Wednesday of this week, I was doing some work downtown. She hadn’t told me she was in my city, but I got a message from her. She tried to call me. I called her back. She was asking about restaurants…
Actually… what she was trying to say didn’t totally make sense. It was another 1/2 baked plan from a girl… like most plans from girls. She was pinging me… she wanted to hook up… she wanted the experience that she knows I can offer… but of course that was not what she said.
I couldn’t really understand her on the phone (it was loud, and she has a thick accent), so I did what I recommend guys do: I moved to “be at the cause, not at the effect.” In other words, I started leading.
I told her I was happy to give her a recommendation, and if she wanted to see me, that I would be available at 8 PM. She jumped on that plan. “Yes, yes. I am interested in you,” she said. “Okay,” I said, “we’ll meet a little after 8.”
I met her downtown. She looked great. She was wearing pants that looked like they were made of leather and I accused her of looking like Cat Woman. Her ass looked full and fantastic. And as usually, I love her lips… they are lush and amazing. I was turned on, immediately.
After checking on her level of hunger, I decided we’d have a drink before dinner… but she didn’t have her passport with her. We walked back to her hotel together (in the epicenter of my daygame hunting grounds) and went up to her room. It’s a nice place with an incredible view of the city. She shut off the lights… so… you know… we could see the view.
If I told you I kissed her would you be surprised?
It was a fantastic kiss… she is a great kisser. I always carry condoms in my work bag… and I considered fucking her right then. My cock was hard from the kiss. But I decided there was no hurry, and I spanked her ass and shuffled her out the door. We had to share the elevator with some tradeshow guy… or I would have kissed her some more. I love kissing in elevators.
We’d killed a lot of time by then, so we skipped the drink and I took her to dinner. Dinner was delicious and she was excellent company. She touched me a lot. I held her very soft hands. We are super comfortable together… like old lovers. Because… that is what we are.
After dinner I took her home. We were in the house for maybe 10 minutes… and I started making out with her in my kitchen… and it got hot fast… those wonderful lips. So I grabbed her by the wrist, dragged her down the hall and took her clothes off.
And I fucked her. And it was great.
That afternoon… I had had no plans for the night. She dropped into my life and I pounced on the opportunity. Windfall sex. More recurring revenue from that initial pickup… long ago. The night was low effort, high payout. Fantastic.
And now I will shift gears again, and say… the sex, the night… was incredible rich. Some of the best sex I’ve ever had. She was responsive and delicious and I did everything I wanted to her before I put on the world’s best condom and put my cock inside her.
So… just like my last post… no +1… I took my +1 for her long ago.
This wasn’t about the notch. And it wasn’t about proving anything to the community (she is a hot girl, but too old for me to score many points for fucking her). And I wasn’t trying to prove anything to myself.
The juice for me in this lay was about the intimacy. That is what I got out of it. The fucking, yeah. The spanking her, and choking her, and pulling her hair, and dragging her around the bed so I could get to her warmest and wettest parts…. it was about all that. But it was also about the closeness, the holding hands, the laying together afterward.
It was unusually intense sex. It was wonderous and it surprised me. The combination of her and I that night… impressed me.
This is a perfect example of the upside of recurring revenue. We can see that while sex with this girl is not predictably reliable, it IS regular and recurring. There is something really great about that.
I love to take a notch… but there can be something particularly juicy about repeat engagements with existing girls. The recurring part allows for familiarity and depth.
And this girl is not my favorite of all time… but she was remarkable that night. I think the ongoing length of our relationship is a big part of that. And the next time… if there is a next time… might be even better.
The surprise for me was how much the sex touched me. The sex, the whole date, and the intimacy. It was wonderful and deeply satisfying. It’s been a couple of days, but I am still high from it. Rich, rich recurring revenue. I love it.
And now… I could point to my own DUAL MATING STRATEGY as a player… yes, I want notches. And yes, I want the depth and richness of recurring lovers. Very different motivations versus the female mating strategies referenced above… but as I work to get my needs met….
I also have a two-part strategy.
That night, after sex, we showered and I sent her home. It was almost 3 AM.
I am still a notch hound. But I am also very into setting up ongoing things with girls. There are opportunities for me to practice being an strong man in both kinds of arrangements.
Later that evening, from her:
HER: I’m home safely.
HER: Thanks for the night, I have a lot of fun!!
Thanks, babe. I did too. And “fun” isn’t really the right word for it.
I thank the Daygame Gods for the “recurring” girls. And I thank this particular girl. I have increasing respect for our affair… she was charming beyond words this week.