Second date w/ a girl on Monday night. Met her during night game. First date was fun, flirty, good comfort, but very quick.
For the 2nd date I had this plan… have her meet me, go to dinner/drinks together (maybe just “drink”, she’s tiny and very susceptible to the alcohols), and then… since I live on her way home from the bar I was thinking of… we share a cab, and I invited her in for “desert” on her way home. That was the plan. Look at me, trying to set up logistics!
She confirmed, and was into it, right up until about 1.5 hrs before the date. Then, she started fucking w/ logistics, saying she was tired, had a long day, and wanted to meet “in the middle” between her place and mine, and she picks a restaurant and a time. Uhh! She’s stealing the control here (and fucked my shared-cab plan), and I don’t like that (and this comes up w/ me a lot, as I tend to attract “strong” women… and have work to do on my own game). We had the same pattern w/ the first date, but I got it on track that time. Time to take control back, again.
I am a firm believer that “how it starts is how it goes,” you get it right in the beginning or it’s broken forever. And I don’t want her leading.
I tell her “OMG, you’re ruining everything” to tease her about messing with the plan. I tell her I don’t want the food she was suggesting, and that I have a reservation for us in a part of town that’s closer to her, and to meet me at a nearby bar.
Her: Sure! See you there. : ]
I am reading Tom Torero‘s “Daygame” (which is an excellent read for a novice like myself), and he is emphasizing “attraction is in the push,” so I worked on that all night. Working on that in general. Love that line.
I teased her, challenged her, disqualified myself… all night. I was effectively leaning back, leading the conversation, I did alright.
At one point, she mentions “play parties.” For those of you that don’t know what that means, that’s code for “sex parties.” Hmmm. She, at least “3-4 times”, has been to a sex party, and participated at some level. I know many guys in the community are all about strippers, etc, but that kind of sexuality intimidates me… not because I’m afraid I can’t please a woman, but just in a general physical safety level of girls in the scene.
Hmmm. It was a big “test” for me to hear that, from a girl I liked, and to hold my frame and remain comfortable. Again, I think I did alright. Maybe B+. I didn’t react much (not toward the sex, or away from the sex), and used her stories as a way of getting to know her.
(Side note… she told one story of how she and an ex BF went to one of these parties together. They were broken up, but still having sex. She/he had decided they would find him a girl, he would fuck the new girl, and she would watch. She seduced the new girl, and it worked. So she ends up watching her ex fuck that girl, and how it made her emotional, made her cry, and how she never had sex w/ that ex BF again. I asked her why, and she said she couldn’t get that picture out of her head… watching her ex fuck the new girl in the same way he had once fucked her. Hmmm, very interesting story. Lance Mason says girls can take a lot of “ambiguity,” but once they *see* something, they can’t go back. I believe that.)
She’s wearing perfume, which I love. At dinner I smelled it, and tried to get more as I moved in to smell her neck. She denies wearing perfume then, resisting me and my game a bit.
We bounce to a bar near her house so she can ditch her car. In the bar, I smell the perfume again, and I move in, touching her, trying to see if it’s on her neck, I get in close, I’m confident. She pushes me back, and I accuse her, with a smile, of not being comfortable being that close to me. She says, she’s not going to get that close to me “on a Monday night,” and smiles. It’s flirty.
Drinks went well, good vibe, I genuinely wanted to kiss her.
Not much physical escalation, but good sexual talk — I know how she likes to come, etc. Lively date. Women’s sex stories are so fascinating.
As the drinks wrap up, I say something about her needing to go. I stand up, get close to her, and grab her by the coat and pull her in… not really going for it. She squirms. I push her away. She goes to leave, and I sit back down, no hurry to leave, owning my new territory. I felt good, dominant, calm. She’s surprised, and Yes, I say, I’m staying here. I ordered another drink. She leaves, a little flustered, struggles w/ the big wooden door on her way out.
I can smell her perfume on me after she leaves… I know it was on her right wrist, as I can I smell it on my left hand (where I had been grabbing her). I text her, after a bit, from the bar:
ME: I can smell that pretty perfume on my hands… You’re an odd, funny, intense little girl… but you *do* smell good.
HER: (immediately) Thanks for dinner/drinks. I had a great time.
HER: I can usually read people pretty well, but I still couldn’t read you… It’s getting very interesting.
That’s a pretty good review.
We banter more this week via Facebook msgs. I set a date at my house for next Wed. She accepts.
She accuses me of being “only Facebook,” so I switch the thread over to text and say…
ME: When you’re thinking about me… and want to tell me you miss me…
ME: Text is fine, too. : ]
HER: (a couple hours later) What do you want from me?
We’ll see. I think I’m 90% on for dinner at my place. I will escalate to the best of my ability, as I know if I get her in my place and don’t at least try to close her, I’m cooked.
We’ll see. I’m a little intimidated… but excited, and genuinely turned on by this little one. She’s interesting.