Ahhh, Daygame… she can be brutal sometimes. All work, no fruit.
After my first 20 or so approaches in Tokyo I had pulled a couple of numbers for girls I liked, and had some real interactions and hooked some girls. My conclusion was: it was just like home.
And then yesterday, I set a personal record for approaches… at least 15 girls on the streets of Shibuya, and almost no hooks, certainly no numbers, just a wall of rejection and a language barrier that seemed insurmountable.
My notes on the approaches are below.
So, yes, while I also have a language barrier to get over with the Asian girls at home, I do get a lot more English-friendly sets there. To go nearly 15 straight with no good interactions was brutal. In some ways, the hardest day I’ve ever had as a “sophomore” daygamer.
One interesting note from the perspective of yesterday: When I have real interactions at home — 30 secs to 10 mins of actual communication with a girl — it’s a vulnerable process. I think it should be, the vulnerability means you actual care. I’m rarely that emotionally invested in the approach itself anymore, but when the set takes, I burn emotional fuel being vulnerable and connecting with girl. Not so yesterday. I was beat up at the end of the day, but it was more like tired message delivery guy — I dropped off “messages” to girls I had no connection with, it was like a job. Work, but not the kind of work I’m looking for. This says something to me about the real “work” of daygame… getting “wide open” with the girl in set. That didn’t happen yesterday at all.
One other reference point… Tokyo has SO MANY girls I am physically attracted to, that I could do 15 sets an hour. I did my 15 yesterday in two hours, but I *could* have done more easily. That kind of *volume* of girls gives you so much opportunity to calibrate… I ran some solid approaches, as I could iterate so much between, I had girl after girl to get my act together. Yesterday gave me good practice in making little adjustments set after set — even if the lack of English, holes in my game, and plain bad luck meant I came up empty each time.
As I “shut off” my game and went to the pool that afternoon, the contrast of super-friendly interactions w/ the Japanese was so refreshing. Daygame means really putting it out there, facing rejection, getting to the see the “no” side of Japan, over and over. As I relaxed my game, became “another fish in the school,” it was all joy and community again with the lovely people here… what a difference vs the battle in the streets that afternoon.
That’s 25 sets in two days, I’m proud of the work ethic going on here. Good start to the year for a dedicated daygamer.
— Notes are below
1. Young girl by the station on my way to lunch. Tightened up when she felt the approach, looked down and kept going. This reaction is more common for me here than at home… but I’m a strange white beast here, and I think that’s a bit much for some girls.
2. I was in a mall and spotted a really lush, beautiful one. I approached, and she was a lovely, feminine girl, super polite, wouldn’t speak English. She was just gushing sweetness and beauty as she smiled, shaking her head “no,” and backing away as I stood there with my feet planted, simply loving her show. As I approached here I told myself to “slow down, open up for this girl,” and I did. I gave myself that advice over and over yesterday. That was a good frame for me.
3. Starbucks Hottie. This wasn’t a street approach, I just loved this girl, so I went direct. She passed me and took a table, no eye contact. I got up, approached, asked if she spoke English. She smiled and was stunning my standards, but said no. As I was in the middle of a fairly serious, non-tourist Starbucks, very high-profile, I didn’t push her for more. She had a great smile and seemed very open. After that, however, as she passed my table once/twice, she was cold. If I had gotten any more eye contact, I would have reopened, but that moment had passed.
4. Young girl on the bridge. She stopped, never got what was going on as she could not understand me. I thanked her and bowed.
5. I was wondering if some of my “blowouts” were just as these girls were so young? I like older Asian women too, so I was aiming for some early 30’s women yesterday to mix it up. Tried one, she was beautiful, but in a rush, smiled, waved me off.
6. Spotted a cute, short, curvy one on the Hikarie bridge. She stopped, took out her headphones and smiled at me w/ a mouth full of braces. I saw the wedding ring at that point, repeated the compliment and left.
7. Going thru the station, chasing one girl, I dropped her to upgrade to hotter girl in tights, a skirt, and a coat trimmed w/ cheetah fur. Okay, she was gorgeous. This is the kind of girl I want to be hitting on. But… she could not understand me. She got the vibe a bit, but couldn’t understand a word I said. I smiled and left, her a little confused, smiling back, staring after me.
8. Trolling the shopping areas, I saw a very fine quality girl, crispy style, smooth beautiful features. Came in from the side got a cold blow out. Ouch.
9. I was going to take a break and get some calories in me to keep me energized (Paul Janka trick). I was in a bakery near Food Show and saw an older, very pretty girl, with great style, and beautiful flowing curly hair. Checked for a ring, didn’t see it, although she was buying a lot of bread items… more than a single girl, maybe a family in that? No eye contact, but she might have felt my vibe… best “chemistry” of the day with that one. I chased her up the stairs on onto the street. She ignored my first attempt to get her attention, but I kept at it. I asked if she spoke English and my intent was clear… she lit up, but was smiling and shaking me off. I planted my feet and tried some more, but she sped off, giving me girlish looks over her shoulder, beautiful curls trailing behind her. Wow. Best set of the day… but as fruitless as the others.
10. At the Scramble, very hot and well put together, I stepped up the quality here. Might have had brief eye contact, and then some space as we waited for the light to change. I had done a lot of sets already, so I was paying attention, and I wanted to nail this one. I was grounded, plenty of space, good eye contact as I stepped in and I dropped a very confident approached. Brief flash of recognition, no smile, and… another cold blow out. Okay! Rough day.
11. Again, well put together, confident girl. She had a nice slow walk. Brief eye contact as we passed, she opened (barely), took out her headphones, neutral expression, heard my opening line, said no about English and wandered off disinterested and slow.
12. Blonde Asian.. why not? Opened, she looked up, tightened up her shoulders, locked down, kept going. And that… is a no. Brrrrrrr! Fair enough.
13. One I’m forgetting… probably repressing the rejection at this point. But I know it was in there.
14. So pretty, lovely face, very young. She was stopped looking at her phone, said no to English. I pushed a bit, leaning back to give her space. She understood the compliment but shut down a little as she got the vibe – young, intimidated. I smiled and let her go.
15. I was done for the day at 14, this is post swim, but when I saw her, I had to open… she was very cute, soft features, puffy kiss-able lips. She stopped, tried to understand what I was saying, and couldn’t get it. She smiled, giggled at the vibe and I bowed and split — personal record accomplished.