Here’s my story about what it was like to be out running daygame for the afternoon w/ Yad, the God Father of modern daygame and the LDM.
I have had very few coaches of any kind in my life. I took one bootcamp, years ago w/ Dj Fuji (arguably, one of the most made-fun-of guys in game). I think I learned from Fuji, but he was kind of a dick. Yad is a cool guy. And as a student, it makes a real difference. Fuji’s technique seemed to be to try to scare everyone into doing what he wanted. Yad is so chill, so comfortable and so confident, he was contagious and I relaxed quickly. Great coach, with real skills to teach a guy like me.
I started out at my gym, which is my typical “homebase” on game days. I did a set before Yad and I met up. She was a cute girl in sunglasses, a flannel (buttoned down so I could see some milky skin on her chest), jeans and sneakers. Thought she was a tourist… she wasn’t, worker bee. She liked it. And I’m grateful for that, as it was a warm start for a long day. I did not try to close her, but I should have. As Yad would say, I give up too easy.
We met at the Mall. He was wrapping things up w/ two students. I shook hands with them. I remember the typical exaggerated displays of “alphaness” that game guys tend to display when they meet each other. Ha. That shit is boring, but they seemed cool enough. Yad and I walk into the Mall, he’s telling me a story about the previous coaching session… I’m still hot and sweating from walking up from the gym. He shoves me into a set almost immediately. Here goes!
“That one, the blonde, go. Tell her she looks like she’s from Sweden.” I hadn’t even seen her face, so I was very reluctant. I caught a glimpse, okay… I can open her. “Open her on the escalator.” Okay, fine. Opened her. She was a flight attendant. She was cute and flirty, perfect… for someone else. I just didn’t like her. But we were off and running.
Here’s a tip for anyone taking any kind of bootcamp or coaching for game… if you have a coach, they need to get you into sets, so they’ll spot them and send you in. If you don’t want to be pushed into sets where you may/maynot like the girl… open on your own sets, do it right away, and for the whole session. I don’t really have a problem opening girls, but I had a little trouble with Yad in that he would push me into sets that I wasn’t always into… at least at first. This is important, as I can’t run my best game when I’m not into the girl. So having someone else pick out my sets doesn’t really work for me. This is direct game, and if I’m going to be congruent with going direct, I have to actually be inspired by the girl, or it starts to sound like a routine — which is the exact opposite of what I’m trying to do in daygame.
We managed to work this out, in part as I started spotting and running down my own sets. And also, as Yad understood I want to see the girls face first, or I won’t approach. He was cool about that. In some cases, he made me anyway… like when he just wanted me to practice being louder, or to test the mic and recording equipment. Or one time, he was like “trust me, trust me,” and sent me after a little Chinese girl. He was right, she was my type. Beautiful. I think he figured out my type pretty quick, and then helped spot sets for me and would send me in. I probably did 1/2 of “my sets” and 1/2 sets he sent me after.
Another thing to say about Yad, is that he probably has the best radar of anyone I’ve ever seen. If there’s a cute girl around, he knows it. I think I did about 15+ girls that afternoon, which is at or above my personal total for here in the US. If I went after every set he told me to, it probably would have been 25 sets. He’s got great eyes.
One thing I think I’m learning from Krauser, is this idea of the mythology or “the story” you use when you stack w/ a girl. I’m getting better and better at coming up w/ a story I’m going to run with, based on the unique qualities of the girl. And doing all this in real-time, on the fly. This is like the classic “you look French, baguette, cigarette, blah blah,” but personalized to each girl. This was hard to do when Yad would see the girl and send me after her… but I was still able to do it sometimes. I believe this is very much a crucial skill in the version of LDM that I’m learning from (mostly) Krauser’s teachings.
EX: One set that Yad and I recorded, actually started with him spotting her, and sending me in when I hadn’t seen her face. “Go, go,” says Yad. I can see the body/look are my type, but I hadn’t seen her face. I often talk about the look on the girl’s face as “meat” for the story of the pickup. Or her walk. In this case, it was her 4 in’, aggressive high heels. They looked “mean,” and that was all I needed. I ran up to her, opened her, and said, “I love that you’re smiling. You have this really sweet smile, and it’s nice, and then these really mean shoes, and I love the contrast.” And she was laughing and hooking, and that’s part of how to use the story.
Side note here… Yad said I don’t seem to have any problem with talking, and he’s mostly right. I’m usually pretty good at coming up w/ something to say, and I’m getting better, as my story-telling skills sharpen up.
EX: Yad grabbed a bite to eat in the middle of our session, but was still flagging girls from his seat and sending me on missions. He spotted this cute, young Asian girl and sent me after her. She had “young, cute girl style,” but this hat that seemed to belong to an older woman. So that was my story: “Hi… I noticed you, and you’re a young cute girl, and I like that, but this hat… it’s a little too ‘mature’ for you, and doesn’t really match the rest of your look.” Turned out… she had just bought it for her mom, and was on her way to meet her. So, in addition to being good “meat” for the story, it was a good cold read. I don’t care about being accurate w/ the story (that’s not the point at all), the point is to have this “mythology” to spin to give the set some fun and momentum.
Another skill I’ve been trying to learn (and articulate) is about reading girls faces – I talked about this in my Elephant in the Room post a few weeks back. I’m not saying I’m very good at this, but I have a lot of experience in sets where it seems to be a good technique. What I mean here, is when she makes a face, and you use the face she’s making as content for the stack. Commwnt on her expression (=emotion)can serve to build attraction or rapport.
EX: Yad sent me after this really beautiful, tall, fancy Chinese girl. She was a tiny bit startled from the approach — and I really think this was more about her personality than about me. So she’s making this “WTF”/semi-scared face, and leaning back. It was like a slow-mo reaction as if a dog was going to bite her. She’s listening, but her lips are curled back in this uncomfortable way. So… I called it out. “Are you okay? Am I making you nervous?” Full rapport and emotional intelligence moment. And that caused she and I to connect. I did this 2 or 3 more times in the set. “Okay, hey I’m still looking at you face, and you seem more comfortable but still a little alarmed. How we doing?” And she would relax even more, talk about her state. This is a type of demonstrated calibration. You’re not just adjusting to her, but you’re telling her that you can see what is happening, and if you’re right, that’s a type of proof that you’re “normal” (or better than normal).
(I think this is actually a special/advanced skill, way beyond “normal,” but the point is… it’s the opposite of “weird” if done correctly.)
Yad really wanted me to insta-date. In fact, he told me to go back in and try to i-date the Chinese girl from the example above. She/I were not a “love connection,” so I didn’t want to, but I see how he was doing a good job trying to help me get that skill into my experience. He pushed me to insta-date several girls, I never tried. I have almost no experience with this, but I appreciate his point.
Another thing Yad likes about i-dates, is that, if she says no, it makes the number close easier. You’re going from a big ask (“date me right now”), to a smaller ask (“date me some other time”), and doing those asks in that order (from big, down to small) makes the latter easier to say yes to. I don’t know what Krauser would say about that, but this whole topic reminds me of his really excellent posts on Cialdini’s Influence.
Another set: She was a very good looking Asian girl, and she opened pretty well. She had just finished a job interview, and I said that was surprising, as she looked so relaxed. She said, “Well, I have lots of options, so I’m not that nervous about it.” I went a little too “rapport” in telling her I thought that was cool of her. Yad was listening (he had me mic’d up), and he said, “you should have teased her, mate.” Something like, “You’ve got a big ego on you, don’t you!” Which would have been good. He also wanted me to i-date this girl, and I think he was right.
I’m not sold on i-dates, but maybe I should be. My numbers are mostly coming up empty, few replies and even fewer dates. Maybe I should try some i-dates to see if I can make the number more solid? I know Tom/Krauser are mostly only doing i-dates when they think a SDL is possible (i-dates can waste a lot of farming time), but I have other reasons to use that technique as a beginner. Gonna keep this in mind.
I think I took two numbers while I was out with Yad.
1 was from a very cute Chinese girl. Set was pretty good, she warmed up and relaxed as the set went on. I think that’s a sign I’m okay w/ rapport and comfort… but since my numbers are mostly dead, I think Yad’s right that I don’t tease/challenge enough. I number closed her, she returned one text, but I don’t think that one is going anywhere. Too bad, I want to eat that girl w/ a spoon! As I think about this, I’m doubling-down on the idea I need to tease more.
The next number was from a girl that I didn’t want to approach. She was okay… here on business. I wasn’t into her, and Yad had me open her at the intersection, all of which felt weird. I ran C/C- game. Funny thing is, when I looked at the number later, she put 6 digits in my phone. Ha! That, my friends, is not a phone number. Whatever.
As part of my coaching, I pre-paid Yad for a Skype call here in the next 30 days. I’m looking fwd to that. I can compile some questions and pain-points, and get some of his help w/ those after I’ve had some time to practice what I’ve learned. He told me to record my sets in the meantime, and he/I will review those over Skype. Sounds good.
So then… I said goodbye to Yad, and did the march back to my gym to get my computer.
Opened a really beautiful, young white girl on the way back. She is “bigger” and curvier than I normal open, but I so would with this one. Hair, face and skin were all nearly perfect. She was very charming. Took her number.
And then, very close to the gym, another Chinese girl. She didn’t open easy, and was making a face, but relaxed more/more as I went on with the set. I did the thing about calling out her face as well, and again, that’s a good rapport technique as I use it. Took her number also.
Lots of great experience, and 4 numbers that day. Good experience for a coaching session.
I’ll say again, Yad is a very cool guy. Very comfortable to be with. Other than pushing me into sets, he felt very natural to be with the whole time.
I was reading some comments on Krauser’s blog where some discussion is going on about Yad and they mention Yosha. And there is some debate about if folks think Yad can pull YHT girls. I dunno, man. Maybe he can’t. Can Yad get laid from cold approach? With “respectable” girls? I believe that 100%. Is Yad one of the best in the world at daygame… yes, yes. I’d bet 1$. Yosha, on the other hand, is the one that I feel sketchy about… I would never take a lesson from Yosha, and I’d pay for more of Yad’s time, for sure. And I think it’s Yad’s comfort with himself that a part of why he is good at game, and why he’s a good coach. He feels so solid to be around.
Sinn said that “daygame is test of how normal you are.” And Yad “feels” normal. Better than normal, it’s almost relaxing to be around him. He’s not boring, he’s just got great social skills and it shows. Totally credible, IMHO.
Viva daygame. And my thanks to Yad.