My story about my day with Yad I’ll post separately, but I want to really meditate on this feedback he gave me. These notes are mostly here for me.
Here are the main points we talked about that I need to focus on:
“The first 10 seconds cannot be fucked with. That’s one thing that you can actually like, preplan for, to do it absolutely perfect.”
THE APPROACH: Yad coached me to not make eye contact until after I have gotten out in front of her, completely turned, and am coming back in towards her. He didn’t say this, but basically, he wants me to get out to her 12 o’clock before I “turn my head,” lock eyes and start talking. “Not turning your head too soon, when you approach.” Felt very good today, some of my best stops. I practiced the next day, I’m stopping much better when I keep this in mind. At one point, he said “Daygame is about the surprise,” and I happen to believe that — thus, don’t telegraph the approach. This is another way of saying what I was trying to say in my first post on eye contact in daygame.
MORE ON EYE CONTACT: “You should always keep eye contact. First 30 seconds and the last 30 seconds you don’t break eye contact.” He said all this when he was having me practice my opening lines with him. “Laser eyes.”
DOUBLE APPROACH/REOPEN: One of the early sets I did that day was an awkward approach, I couldn’t get in front of her. She smiled, didn’t stop, and I walked back to Yad. Yad was watching her, and said she looked back at me and flipped her hair and was smiling — she liked it. I believe that, I think this happens a lot. He told me to go back in (I didn’t). He said something like, “Say, ‘I have to tell you this one thing…'” and reopen. He says, “it’s even more romantic.” He mentioned it’s like “The Notebook” (Gosling movie), where a man has to show persistence. He says he almost likes it better when he has to reapproach. For me, this is gold, as I have so many sets where the girl does smile and lingers, but “drifts” (as I like to say) and I lose her. Reopening here could revive a few sets that would be dead otherwise. I will also say, in everything I’ve studied, I’ve never heard anyone else recommend this. He made me do it with this little 5’ ft cutie, and she was hard to reopen, but she was more engaging the 2nd time, gave me a chance to get my story out, she blushed. It was fun. I need to try this more. I promised Yad I’d do at least 10 of these before I make up my mind about this.
TALK LOUDER: A great friend of mine, “The Fat Italian,” says I have a voice only dogs can hear. On the phone, I’m sometimes mistaken for a girl. Sucks, but I’ve had this voice my whole life, so I’m used to hearing stuff like this. My voice is quiet and a bit high-pitched. I haven’t gone as far as voice lessons, but I’m thinking about it. Anyway, Yad kept telling me I need to be louder on the open. “The loudest you’ve got to be is the first 15 seconds. You can’t have a girl have a bigger voice than you.”
MORE ENTHUSIASM. Yad wanted me to be a bit more enthusiastic when I open. He kept saying I need to be “congruent” with my open (which confused me a bit). We talked about it, and he said you need to have the same vibe as if you had just run into a good friend of yours. I think that’s what he wants me to be congruent with, that “hey, look it’s my old friend” vibe. He talked about how this is how friends greet each other, and this is how you kickstart a warm response from her, by leading with this enthusiastic vibe. He’s right. Good coaching.
I GIVE UP TOO EASY: He’s totally right. So many of my street notes say “I let her go.” This is true. Part of this is when I’m not warmed up, or when I want to be “nice to girls,” but other times… I just fucking give up too easily, even in sets that are going well. He’s right. I did this for years in game, where I wouldn’t number close, even on fun/good sets in bars. I want to drill this into myself.
HOW TO DEAL WITH 2-SETS. “Just focus entirely on the girl you like.” Okay. I have only done 1 2-set in daygame, ever. And I have a style I think I like… but I will try Yad’s advice. I trust him… and I’m a fucking beginner. He tried to demo this for me, but the set he opened turned out be young, teenage girls, “both had colorful braces on their teeth,” so he laughed and ejected.
I DON’T TEASE ENOUGH. “You don’t tease enough. You go for the nice safe option… which is okay w/ the FOBs, but not with the American Asians. They need you to tease a little bit, to show you get their sense of humor. Don’t risk it too much… with Asian’s especially, I find one or two is more than enough. ‘I love how bossy you look, does that mean you are a bossy girl and I should be careful?’ You’re not going for teasing and challenging enough. You don’t even do a sexual compliment at any point.” He’s right.
RECORD YOUR SETS “If I were you, I’d constantly be recording myself. Recording and analysis is a big big part of any field in life you want to truly master. Like in sports, after every game the coach goes thru each play with every player.” I confessed that I had been avoiding recording my sets, as I assumed they were terrible. We recorded some that day, and they were better than I thought. I’m going to start doing this.
“The end, I would practice to death. Lazer eye beams. ‘Another time, I’d love to invite you out.'”
He was fucking great for me. We did 15+ sets in 3 hours, and he gave me a ton of great feedback. And very easy to work with, he’s a super comfortable guy to be around.
I just happen to meet him on the street here in the US, but you can book a coaching session with Yad at Daygame.com. He’s been spending more time in CA, he says, so this might be a more practical thing for US daygamers than it used to be.