From Rivelino and I in the comments of a recent post:
“I’m still in awe at how quickly ‘strangers’ can touch each other’s lives.”
so beautiful and so true.
When Riv picked out that line from my most recent daygame lay report, it reminded me of parts of this story that I am still trying to mentally unpack:
“As I was driving Miss Lips to the airport last night after our long date, I said “why were you so comfortable spending two days with me when we barely know each other…”
As I started to write the post about that girl… my initial idea was to tell that story from the point of view of “the Secret Society.”
I love the concept of the Secret Society. I think about it all the time. In the case of my story of Miss Lips, RSD Tyler’s post wasn’t the right vehicle for the details of she and I.
But I like Tyler’s theme very much. Here is where I want to go with it:
In the Secret Society… rich interactions with “strangers” (established quickly and easily) are normal. The members of the Secret Society (players and girls) know this to be true.
When you live in the world of the Secret Society, fast, rich experiences — like a “50 hour date” with a “stranger” — are normal. Normal for the girls, as they’re used to interactions with smooth guys. And normal for the players, as they *are* the smooth guys and they’re used to making this kind of thing happen.
When it comes to mating and dating… it’s not exactly that “anyone in the Secret Society will do.” Members are not simple, “interchangeable” parts. But fast-seduction happens so easily for members of the Secret Society, because they share a special way of looking at the world.
Which reminds me of my personal metaphor about my opportunity (and responsibility) as a man: My life is a “train station.” I am at the center of that train station, I am the center of my life. To be the center of your life is an essential thing for a man to understand. I am the train station, and the “trains come and go.” That’s how train stations functions. That “the trains come and go” is also essential.
For members of the Secret Society, the nature of the train station, the trains, the ease of their coming and going, the ease of the “next rich connection” as each train stops… this is the how the world works. That reality is something members of the Secret Society share and understand and appreciate.
This is life in the Big City.
To make this personal, Miss Lips could step deeply into my life, and do so easily, and so quickly, because she is a girl… and “all females” are in the Secret Society. She is in the Secret Society, so this all makes sense to her, in the same way the daily commute makes sense to a city dweller. And as she can see I am in the Secret Society, we are like amorous neighbors, and she can connect with me easily. This is normal.
And I am a man of Game, so I understand the nature of trains. And I can embrace her — deeply and quickly — because I too am in the Secret Society. I wasn’t always in the Secret Society (most men are not), but I am now.
Members of the Secret Society recognize each other (mostly due to our non-verbal signals). It doesn’t take long to figure it out. And we treat each other very well. Intimately (in every sense). That’s the purpose of the Secret Society. “Good emotions,” as Tyler would say.
The coming and going “trains” is normal for us. They appear in front of us as we sip our coffee. We stand there, and the doors open up… people spill out. Often we see someone from the Secret Society (it’s the “sparkle” in someone’s eye). That’s a lot of opportunity. We are very good at making connections, on the fly, even in that face-paced world. Opportunities (for “good emotions”) are all around us.
And we are very good at letting go. People get off the trains, but they also get on and speed away. They leave the station in the same way they came, and often as quickly. Watching trains disappear from our life… also normal. Trains come and go. There will be another.
And look, see… there is another one right behind the last one. More opportunity. Not everyone is in the Secret Society, but lots of us are. Walt Disney is shocked. I am not.
For someone like me, seeing his life as a train station and the daily patterns of trains coming and going… I am learning this is how life works. Many trains, coming through our lives. We make connections. We let go. We go about our business.
And yet it’s not a “flat” experience. I may take some things for granted, but I don’t feel jaded. This is all still very emotional for me. I like the train station and I like the trains. I even like that they come and go.
But I still feel the impact of each connection. I still get excited when I see someone I like step off a train and into my station. I still feel some loss when someone I like disappears behind the doors of a train bound for somewhere else.
A train stopped. The doors opened. Miss Lips stepped out. We connected. We dated. We fucked. She stayed with me for two days. It was deep, but it happened fast. And she left on another “train” a few days later.
I know there will be another train tomorrow. This is how train stations work.
Somehow, these metaphors help the small, tender animal in me understand the past few days. And I may be sated and raw now, but my animal will chill out. The trains will continue to come and go. More trains, more opportunity, more connections, more goodbyes.
Greetings from the Secret Society.