Realness, Rollcall, Comradery

I had a great lunch this week with Runner and Buckle. Some smart dudes. Good conversation and Japanese food. That’s a strong formula for a memorable afternoon.

Runner was a major mentor of mine. We met over 10 years ago, when I was already middle aged, but was just starting to get into game. He pointing me to almost everything that I studied that helped me to where I am today. From Lance Mason to RSD Tyler to the Chateau Heartiste to the venerable Krauser. I study hard (and I’m motivated as fuck), but Runner did a lot to point me toward what to study.

But the best thing Runner ever did for me in terms of Game… was pointing me toward daygame. As I said, Runner was the guy that first talked to me about Krauser (maybe this was 2010). Of course I did nothing about it for years… middling along in nightgame. What a waste.

It was in 2014 when Runner and my old wing Hurricane started talking about actually making a commitment to daygame. I was really scared and threatened by that idea.

I did not think I had the balls for sober, cold approach in the daytime. I was afraid of that. Full stop. And I was afraid my wings would get good at street game, and I’d be left behind… it was “fear” that got me started. That’s the truth.

Thank the Daygame Gods for that fear… it changed my life.

Hurricane and I started running some daygame and he got laid pretty quickly. Less than 100 approaches. I was jealous. He got laid again soon after in Japan (we were both there at the same time in 2015). I did some street game that trip, and dated some daygame girls, but I wasn’t even close to my first daygame lay yet. I was doubly-jealous he closed so quickly there as well.

Meanwhile, Runner moved to NYC. Since I’ve known him, he has always had women in his life, but has been mostly online-oriented in recent years… he has good Tinder game. Hurricane would still come out with me sometimes, but would rarely approach as time went on. He ended up going the way of online too.

So of the two guys that basically scared me into doing my first daygame sets, neither became serious daygamers… but I fell in “love” with the opportunity and was hooked. It’s the best thing that ever happen to my game.

These days, Runner is still in NYC. The home of Paul Janka, New York City has the volume of girls and the requisite anonymity to be a daygamers paradise. Runner recognizes this, and has been flirting with the idea of making a real pass at daygame. I am doing all I can to encourage him.

That’s a lot of what this post is about… encouragement.

Meanwhile, here in my city, Young Guns introduced me to Buckle. Buckle has become a wing. From the first time I met him, I was impressed with the guy… he’s solid. You get good at reading people in game, their intentions, their energy. And that means reading guys too. Buckle is remarkable solid, man to man. And then, I saw him approach… also, “like a rock.” I was impressed. I predicted he would do very well, even as he hadn’t had a daygame lay yet.

And this past weekend Buckle got his daygame lay. He pulled a SDL with a tourist. Fuck yeah. He and I had a text or two about it over the weekend, but I hadn’t heard the full story…

Runner came into my city this week for work. He stayed at my place on Monday and Tuesday night. I was telling him about Buckle and his recent daygame success, and mid-conversation, I picked up my phone and I pinged Buck’ to see if he might be free for lunch while Runner was in town.

He was. I set it up. We met up… and thus the inspiration for this post.

It was a great feeling to host those guys for lunch. To introduce solid dudes. To sit back and watch them share stories.

My main intention was for Runner to get a look at Buckle, and for him to hear the story of Buckle’s first daygame lay. I am trying to drag Runner deeper into the daygame community. To tempt him closer to spending some real time on the street. To “feel it,” by seeing a new guy talk about a recent kill.

As the lunch went on, Runner was talking about “community guys” we’ve met along the way.

I have been a big fan of the Community (and the manosphere, for that matter). I’m grateful for what the community taught me about game and how game then changed my life. There is so much potential in the pickup community to help men “clean themselves up,” to make them genuinely better men. And… to get them laid (mostly after that work is done). And also to connect us all to each other. So we can hear each other’s stories. To inspire each other.

For a “real time” gauge of what is “normal” for other men… nothing beats this community. The real-time test of the girls. The no-bullshit feedback from other men. The environment is honest. That honesty helps. Hot girls don’t give out participation tropies. If you’re getting laid, it’s cause you’ve done the work. And very likely… it’s because other men have coached you.

At lunch we also talked about how not everyone is the community is that cool. I don’t like to focus on it, but it’s true… there are plenty of weirdos in the Game. As much as I want to hold up my affinity for the community… not all wings are created equal.

Runner mentioned at lunch that he thinks I’m “real.” What he said is, “your realness attracts other real people.” Something like that. That was a huge compliment. I want to be real. That matters to me.

I said then that that’s a big goal of mine, for my role in the community… to bring some realness. I want my blog to be real. That’s why I talk about my failures. About girls giving me fake phone numbers. About the endless blowouts. About how I get frustrated. And how I get hurt.

I know other guys are going through that kind of thing. Hearing another man’s story can take the sting out of some shit-episode in your own life. Might even make you laugh. Laughing at yourself, or even the other guy, makes it easier. Krauser’s stories about “toothaches” make me feel better about my endless snotty nose. Gives me perspective.

So then Buckle told his story about his SDL.

I think he felt it was a little too “easy” so he wondered if it “counted?” Of course it did. Classic cold-approach. Good work on his part to make the best of his logistics. The fact that he’s a solid man is probably a lot of why it felt “easy” for him. He got this lay in about 150 approaches. We know my first daygame lay took me MUCH longer. I was a “hard case.” I always learn things the hard way… same when I was a skater.

Buckle’s questions about his own success were a part of the realness at that lunch. While I love to talk about taking down a new girl, the guys I’m closest to in game are more than icy braggards. And the personal details (our internal reactions) to the wins and losses of the street ground this lifestyle for me.

I hope Runner will close as fast as Buckle. I bet he will… once he ratchets up the approaches. (It’s all about volume.) Runner also has a ridiculous foundation in terms of his value as a man and his knowledge of game. He will learn to use the Daygame Model to help get himself in front of young girls. When he does that, his value will speak for itself. And he knows so much game… daygame will open up even more opportunities with girls for him at that point.

I got to sit back and eat, didn’t talk much for the first 1/2 of lunch, as Buckle and Runner traded comments and stories. Awesome lunch. So glad we did that.

All of this reminds me of Rivelino.

Rivelino loves the “brotherhood” aspect of game. Me too. I have learned a lot from Riv.

And Riv doesn’t like it when dudes in the community use the opportunity of our shared lifestyle to snipe at each other, to undercut a man. To diss a guy as a cheap mechanism to stroke your own ego. I like that about, Riv… quite a bit. He’s right. The fact that his blog is “diary style” means more realness. He shares a lot of his life… and that is a service to folks that are exposed to his story.

Rivelino’s leadership in that area helped me to see the possibility of comradery in the larger crew of street seducers. That we might be “thick as thieves.” And we have been. Certainly true of Riv and me.

And I feel proud to be a part of a clique of daygamers right now. I don’t feel as much connection with the London Guys, although I certainly admire them. But there is a group of local guys I know and few beyond that. And new friends all the time.

This post is about Runner and Buckle. And it’s about the community of wise and industrious men that inspire me.

Rivelino is at the top of the list. He and Yohami. (Goddamn, thanks again, Yohami.) And the good man with the ugly name, “Daygame in Shitsville.” We’ve shared a lot on this blog. I am much further ahead on this path, based on the sense of community I have with those guys in particular.

I am stoked to know my buddy Cobrantula (although we’ve never met in person) and I love watching his journey. He is going to get laid from this soon. I already have a celebratory post written for him, and I’ll post it as he claims this first street-notch.

Mr Xsplat and I got to know each other better this last month, via some spirited conversation on Riv’s blog.

I’m stoked to read Alpha Jedi these days (he had a great post last weekend).

I have been getting a lot from the guy that writes The Red Quest (his Snapchat gambit really caught my eye last month, and reminds me of something Yohami said to me).

Goldmund was very cool as I reviewed his ebook a month or so ago.

I’m not tight with the London Guys, but Roy Walker and I have had some back and forth (he is the most badass thing in daygame right now, as I see it). Roy’s “No Notch November” post was all realness.

Even dudes I know almost nothing about — like Alpha Teacher — their stories are part of my education.

And of course a shout out and some love to the local guys. The Cigar (may you enjoy your relationship… and maybe come hunt with us again). To Young Guns… who may move soon, but will have a daygame lay here on the east coast soon enough. To Vicar who is busy with school right now, but has real potential to make more of daygame. To Rauker, come hit the street, brother. To Pancake… another wing I miss.

And to the larger concept of what community can mean. To coming up together. To showing each other the way.

Post lunch… Buckle talked for a second about his emotional state, post-lay. It was raw. It was real conversation. And Runner and I got to share more on what goes through our minds post-lay as well. Not about the rejections. Or the breakups. But the sort of emotional component when our game is actually “working.” That’s what my post about trains stations is all about… understanding my emotional reactions to fast sex and the players lifestyle. Making meaning out of it all is the human condition.

We have a lot to share.

As I got home that night, I was back into some comments on my blog, that were related to some comments on Riv’s blog, that ended up spawning a post on Xsplat’s blog (which is a very good post, excellent).

That was an interesting coincidence of this post… a conversation among players spawning another conversation. More “group therapy” as a bunch of men balance the redpill experience and what that’s like at the personal level.

I kicked off my Twitter account this week (also inspired by Riv), and immediately connected with Ilijas Jung. He had no idea I was writing this post, but sent me this via direct message:

“Smart guys = high IQ, well read RP savages 🎈✊”

“Having minds around that resonate together and think alike is a huge real life boost. Best wishes, keep the hustle!”
Ilijas Jung

Yeah, man. That’s what I’m talking about. Conspiring with smart, experienced guys. And sharing with each other as we all “level up.”

We are a rare segment of society. We have some of the same questions the “normies” have, but we have the experience to really be able to comment on all this dating and mating business – based on actual experience. We’re “first handers.” That makes us unusual men and unusual peers for each other. Our “love laboratory” is much more real-time and vast than most guys will ever begin to appreciate. I’d say we’re lucky… but we know this is much more than “luck.”

There is a lot of good work going on with this band of brothers. The hustle itself, yes (all those happy girls). But then the sorting out the “meaning” of it all that we do on the sidelines of the battle and between rounds. I’m very proud to be a part of this mess. I like what we have going on here.

Viva daygame.